


there are many thorns, but the roses are there too

by noair



Category: Produce 101 (TV), X1 (Korea Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Ballet, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Psychological Horror, Swan Lake - Freeform, Unreliable Narrator, seungyoun is just very very in love with seungwoo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-13
Updated: 2019-09-13
Packaged: 2020-10-17 23:53:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,056
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20629625
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/noair/pseuds/noair
Summary: seungyoun believes he has fallen in love in the worst way possible.





	there are many thorns, but the roses are there too

**Author's Note:**

> hi! just a fair warning, there are a few scenes where seungyoun gets injured so if you can't handle descriptions/brief mentions of getting hurt and blood then pls don't read :( 
> 
> oh! and it's recommended you know a brief description of the ballet swan lake. if not, there's a quick description in the end notes :)

the night is long. seungyoun sees the tips of his fingers shiver under the moonlight, ceasing to a stop when the clouds clear and the moon can be seen perfectly above in the sky. though his steps are shaky, he finally manages to make his way to the stone bench that appears in the nearby clearing. it is small, but strong enough to support the weight of the ballet dancer. seungyoun practically clamours his way towards the bench. a sick, unsettling feeling slowly crawls down his throat and into his stomach where the feeling finally settles into an uncomfortable stillness. seungyoun now sits on the bench, clutching his own abdomen. a sharp, stinging pain strikes him suddenly, causing him to bend over in pain and a silent scream escaping his lips. with furrowed brows and a pounding headache, seungyoun lifts one hand from his abdomen and expects to see blood. in the light of the moon, however, there is nothing.

then, in the distance, seungyoun hears it. the unmistakable, horrifying sound- yes_!_ that horrible sound_!_

the low hum grows louder and louder, eventually clogging seungyoun’s ears to the point where he cannot hear anything besides the hum. in a desperate attempt to block out the noise, seungyoun covers both of his ears with his bandaged hands. this attempt is futile, as the sound only seems to get brasher by the time he has gathered enough strength to raise both hands to his head. then, seungyoun sees them in the distance. the black swans.

it is a fickle thing to be scared of- a bird that is supposed to represent beauty, grace, poise- all the things seungyoun has been conditioned to embody. yet, as seungyoun can feel the hum close in on him and the swans draw closer, a certain primal instinct arises in him. the swans are the predator and he is the prey.

seungyoun knows they are close. he can feel it, as he always has, and the sickness in his stomach finally subsides. this always happens. seungyoun would rather keep the pain than let the swans near him. yet, this is not what occurs.

with his clouded eyesight, seungyoun spots the swans in the distance, approaching rather slowly. in any normal circumstance, the ballet dancer would be fit enough to escape, without having to worry of the impeding horrors. but, this is not the reality he lives.

the swans surround seungyoun. with shaking hands, seungyoun desperately reaches out to pet the feathers of one of the birds, but is quickly shot down as the whole flock descends on him and begins to pick at his skin. the first thing seungyoun feels is the burn of his flesh being picked apart piece by piece, bits and pieces of skin and meat thrown through the air and into the mouths of starving birds. the hum is now a piercing scream, masking any sound of seungyoun’s own frightful sobs.

the second thing seungyoun feels is the excruciating pain that comes when his eyes are plucked out by the swans. it burns, _god_, it burns_!_ seungyoun has experienced such pain almost a dozen times already, but each time the feeling is worse. seungyoun’s world turns pitch black within seconds- his whole body aches and his blood-less body burns everywhere. he cannot take it anymore. _please_, seungyoun begs the swans silently before his body gives away to exhaustion and fatigue, _for the love of god, please stop!_

**-**

seungyoun wakes up at four in the morning. the time is only a little earlier than his usual wakeup time, so seungyoun carries no hard feelings towards the four digits that glare back at him from the clock on his desk. groaning into his two palms, seungyoun forcibly throws himself out of bed and absentmindedly reaches for his phone. the screen lights up constantly, buzzing from numerous notifications that clog his timeline. seungyoun thoughtlessly scrolls through each, deleting them as soon as they appear. when seungyoun makes it to the end of the list, there is one notification that catches his eye.

it’s a text. it’s from seungwoo.

seungyoun temporarily forgets about the ache in his bones and opens the text, hungrily searching the screen for any resemblance of words he can mistake for affection. there’s a couple sentences on the screen and seungyoun thinks that he may still be dreaming. has seungwoo ever texted him this much before?

[03:23:46]

**SW**: hello seungyoun- i hope you’re doing well.

**SW**: forgive me for texting so early in the morning… i just arrived in korea and i could not help but text you right away.

**SW**: saint petersburg is such a beautiful city, i cannot wait to tell you all about it.

**SW**: please do text me whenever you are free. let’s talk soon.

seungyoun’s heart soars. with trembling hands, seungyoun grasps the phone and kisses it lightly, a smile spreading through his face. was this what it felt like to be in love? even the simplest of words seemed to cater to seungyoun’s feelings, planting artificial yearning into his mind that only seemed to worsen with each day that passed. it felt foolish now to get overworked over a few sentences, but seungyoun knew the hidden meaning behind the words. now if only seungwoo could see him the way seungyoun saw the other_! _seungyoun was sure that seungwoo would love him… if only time were to be on his side. though a lover was supposed to patient, how could seungyoun idly sit by, waiting for something to happen?

of course, seungyoun had to reply right away. taking the time to pick out the right words, the man finally came up with a proper response.

[03:26:52]

**SY**: you did not need to text me so early, i hope you rest soon_!_

**SY**: of course, i cannot wait to hear all about it. it all seems very lovely.

**SY**: i should be free next week. perhaps friday morning? my audition is during the afternoon, so that should leave a bit of space for me to go to the theatre.

**SY**: you can come over to my place. tell me if it works for you :)

a faint hum fills the room as soon as seungyoun sends the texts. the man jumps, one hand flying to grasp the cloth nearest to his heart. the noise, however, subsides quickly, leaving nothing in its wake. seungyoun sighs. it’s just a trick of the mind, he knows. just a trick of the mind.

[03:28:45]

**SW**: perfect. i will see you around ten in the morning then, weather permitting.

**SW**: it will be such a pleasure to see you once more, seungyoun.

**SW**: it has been a while.

seungyoun cannot wipe the dumb smile off his face. he knows he looks idiotic, staring at his phone screen like some sort of madman, but the feeling is just too overwhelming that there simply is nothing else he can do _but_ smile. relishing in this moment of pure happiness, seungyoun watches time pass and eventually it is five in the morning. the sun has finally started to peak through the edges of the city, rising gallantly to shine over the city of seoul. there is something so beautiful, so mesmerising about watching the sun rise. it represents a new future, seungyoun thinks. something made just for him.

it doesn’t take seungyoun long to get ready. he is already used to the schedule, the fast pace life of a ballet dancer. everything in the industry seems to pitted against him, so he makes it work. if practice always starts earlier than he thinks, then he must get up earlier than he usually does. if his ankle is twisted while performing a _tour en l'air_, then he must persevere and ignore the nagging pain. there is no time to wait. the ballet world moves fast and so does seungyoun.

seungyoun arrives to the theatre as soon as the doors are unlocked. there are not many people around, save a few employees and a dancer or two from another subsection of the troupe. even the director is not around, which is a common occurrence. seungyoun takes the opportunity to quickly change, sparing no second to move into the practice room where the mirrors that border each wall depict a monster of his own creation. seungyoun’s physique is perfect- a model for juniors and seniors alike. it is no question as to why he is one of the most respected dancers in his troupe.

not long after seungyoun has begun to do his daily stretches and exercises, a hand is lightly placed on his shoulder from behind. seungyoun twists his head the other way to catch a glimpse of his (soon-to-be) understudy, sungjoo. quickly, seungyoun looks forward again, a small sigh escaping his lips.

“what are you acting so cold for, seungyoun _ah_. did you skip breakfast again?” sungjoo removes his hand and steps in front of seungyoun, blocking his view of the mirror. “cheer up. it’s our last day of practice. auditions are coming up soon.” sungjoo pats one of seungyoun’s cheeks and chuckles. seungyoun cannot help but laugh along too.

“i have no problem skipping breakfast. you’re just annoying.” seungyoun huffs out and drops his stance, unceremoniously sitting down on the floor with another sigh. “maybe i’m just nervous. there would be something wrong with me if i was not nervous at all.”

sungjoo coos at this comment, staring at seungyoun how a parent may look upon their child with adoration.

“how adorable. to think that the multi-talented all-rounder cho seungyoun gets nervous at every audition… cute_!_” seungyoun groans when he hears the older ramble on and tunes out the rest of the statement. seungyoun’s calves hurt from previous days of on and off practice with no time to rest. though the pain nags at him in the back of his mind, seungyoun does his best to tune out the aching and instead turns his attention to perfecting prince siegfried’s solo. as a child, seungyoun had seen swan lake numerous times, at one point watching the same production recorded on his family’s old vcr five times in a week. by age fifteen seungyoun had already memorised the prince and odette’s first routine without practicing it once.

little by little, the practice room crowds with more and more dancers who come in and out, striking up small talk with others. not many people approach seungyoun, but that is a welcome change. by now, most know not to bother him when auditions come closer.

practice goes smoothly. the theatre’s head director has entered the room.

“as you all know by now,” the director addresses the entire team as they line up in a single file line. “this is our last formal practice before auditions. of course, we have more practices ahead of us, but this is the last time to work out the kinks in your routine. we have the whole day ahead of us, so why don’t we get started. would anyone like to showcase their routine first or should we keep it a surprise? this is a chance to impress me or look out for competition. you all know the competitiveness of this industry.”

the room is silent for a bit, sidelong glances made from one dancer to another from across the two ends of the room. while the director taps his foot impatiently onto the hardwood floor, seungyoun raises his hand and clears his throat.

“i’ll go.” it’s a simple statement but the entire room seems to suck in a breath, anticipating what is to come next. seungyoun silently rolls his eyes. his troupe-mates embarrass him.

the director immediately nods and heads to the nearby speakers to turn on a recording of act one’s_ andante sostenuto_. though the music is sudden, seungyoun finds his element almost immediately, embodying the melancholy and solemn attitude of the lonesome prince siegfried. here, seungyoun gracefully fills the room with his presence, impressing his peers and gaining the encouraging glance of his director. seungyoun loves it. the music is somber in tone and seungyoun acts it out perfectly. his expression shows the desperation of a prince in love with an idea that is merely superficial. there is something so haunting about the role of the prince that makes seungyoun so attracted to it- so easy to relate to.

when the song finally comes to a halt, seungyoun has not stopped and instead goes into the next routine regardless of whether the music continues to play or not. only when his director places a hand on his shoulder does seungyoun realise that time has passed and he no longer needs to continue. the director gives a satisfied nod and lets seungyoun return to his original place in line. seungyoun hears a few of the troupe members whisper to each other as the director takes down notes on a clipboard. he knows he has done well.

“and that, my dear friends, is how you perform. good job, seungyoun. it’s always a pleasure to see you dance.” with the director’s words, the entire room bursts into a polite applause. respect for seungyoun fills the room. everyone knows; seungyoun is a force to be reckoned with.

**-**

seungyoun cannot help but think of seungwoo. though he tries his best to keep such intrusive thoughts from his mind in practice, seungyoun cannot stop them when it is _truly_ all he can think about. seungyoun thinks of grasping one of seungwoo’s hands in his and immediately melts. he really was in love_!_ seungwoo is perfect in every aspect, seungyoun decides. though this has been evident from their first meeting, seungyoun finds that with each second it becomes more and more prominent. seungwoo is handsome, kind, and loving. he is perfect. how could such a selfless being ever come to love such a horrible person such as seungyoun?

the dancer shakes these thoughts from his head and leans back into his living room couch. with a quick look at the clock, there still remains half-an-hour before seungwoo is to arrive at his home. there meeting follows a few months of separation in which seungwoo had been away in russia, completing an exchange experience with a partnering company of his employment. when seungyoun reflects upon their previous conversation, he doesn’t quite remember what seungwoo specifically does. it is something business related, but seungyoun cannot place a finger on it. whatever it was, he is sure it is important. that’s another thing about seungwoo that seungyoun loves- he is a hard worker, just like himself.

the clock ticks slowly. or at least, this is what seungyoun thinks. seungyoun swears he spends all of his time staring at the minute hand and eventually gets tired of waiting for the minutes to pass by. throwing his back against the soft pillows that adorn the couch, a faint sound suddenly fills his ears. no- _not_ _now! _it can’t be.

but the sound increases and seungyoun hears the humming grow louder. god, that horrible noise_! _how it infiltrated even the most sacred spaces… when would seungyoun be free from such disgusting horrors?

seungyoun immediately throws his body to the ground, in the process hitting his head on the coffee table in front of him. it is a porcelain white table, with a colour that is as pure as a winter’s first snow. when seungyoun finally comes to his senses and gets up on two legs, a small pool of red has smeared across the surface of the table, contrasting with the purity of the table surface. this sight does not shake seungyoun in any way, however. the blood that trickles down his forehead and onto his cheek like a single tear is the least of his worries. the hum has grown to a fever pitch, almost like a sick siren call.

“you fucking monsters- you disgusting, vile monsters_!_” seungyoun’s voice sounds hoarse, grasping at his throat to collect enough oxygen to scream into the air. though the swans are nowhere to be seen, seungyoun feels their presence around him. they will strike when he is the most vulnerable, he knows. he is used to this.

desperately, seungyoun begins to rummage through the room for any sight of the swans. his once perfect furniture layout is now ruined, instead replaced with what seems like a calculated clutter. this search eventually proves unsuccessful when seungyoun cannot find the swans anywhere. instead, only the high pitch scream of the swan’s approach can be heard. seungyoun cannot take it anymore. collapsing onto all fours, seungyoun tiredly waits for his eventual demise. he is ready for the pain this time. he knows what is to follow.

in the next few seconds, seungyoun watches as the swans approach from the kitchen room. they appear to have grown in size from the week before, larger and scarier than ever. their black feathers are painted a dark crimson, the remnants of seungyoun’s blood from his last dream. seungyoun scoffs at this sight. they do not even have the decency to clean themselves, seungyoun ponders.

just before the first swan descends upon his body, the hum stops. the sound of a doorbell replaces it instead. abruptly, seungyoun gets up and dusts himself off. where… where was he?

in a daze, seungyoun walks over to the front door and realises that the noise is indeed coming from his own apartment room. _ah_, there must be someone at the door. it is only natural when one hears his doorbell ring that he approach the door. but, as all good children do, seungyoun first looks through the eyehole. it is a necessary precaution that has carried into his adulthood.

when seungyoun looks through the eyehole, he is immediately shocked to see the hoard of swans staring right back at him. seungyoun chokes on air, taking a cautious step back from the door. only when the doorbell rings once more does seungyoun fearfully look back into the eyehole. no longer do the swans await him but instead it is seungwoo, the love of his life. seungyoun relaxes a bit. he is safe.

the door opens and seungwoo’s expression is bright. this doesn’t last long, however, when he notices the almost-dried blood that is tarnished across seungyoun’s face.

“my god, seungyoun- what happened?” the words flow from his lips perfectly, seungyoun thinks. even hideous words sound elegant coming from seungwoo. seungyoun wishes to hear him talk all day.

seungyoun snaps out of his daze when seungwoo holds his hand and guides him to sit down on the couch. the other has noticed the blood that has turned the white porcelain an ugly crimson.

“i’m sorry i did not come sooner, otherwise i could have perhaps prevented this. do you feel alright? are you seriously hurt? may i take a look at the wound-“ seungwoo’s voice is laced with worry, causing seungyoun’s heart to break. but, is this worry genuine? seungyoun cannot tell. though he loves seungwoo (adores him, really), there is still the fear that seungwoo does not truly like him back. what if seungwoo is lying? there is no way to tell except the overstated analysis of every word that seungwoo utters back to him. seungwoo reaches out to touch the spot where seungyoun has started bleeding. seungyoun almost recoils, but allows him to do so.

“you poor thing… and right before your auditions, too. we should clean this up quickly before it gets any worse.”

seungwoo gets up the couch and heads into the bathroom. even though it has been months, seungwoo still remembers the layout of seungyoun’s apartment. seungyoun cannot help but smile at this endearing detail. seungwoo looks like a puppy.

seungwoo emerges from the bathroom with a bottle of rubbing alcohol, cotton pads, and a few bandages. he quietly takes a seat next to seungyoun and begins to apply some of the liquid to seungyoun’s wound. though it stings, it is nothing compared to the constant pain he goes through each day during ballet practice. any time spent near seungwoo is sweet, too. the pain suddenly feels enjoyable.

the silence in the room is finally interrupted when the two both speak up at once, with seungyoun about to implore about seungwoo’s recent travels and seungwoo, on the other hand, about to give a confession.

“ah, you should go first. i have all the time in the world. you don’t.” seungwoo grins somberly at seungyoun when he removes the cotton pad and looks at the blood that has stained it. with a gentle touch, he wipes away at the small stream of blood that has dried on seungyoun’s cheek too.

seungyoun ponders for a moment before speaking up again. “it is nothing important. i just want to hear about your time in saint petersburg. it sounds delightful. if i’m correct, i think tchaikovsky spent a good portion of his life there. what a coincidence that the company is also holding a production of swan lake at the same time you return from that city.”

seungwoo clicks his tongue in agreement, closing his eyes as if to reminisce about the times he spent there. “yes, it was quite nice. i learned so much about the history of the country and especially the city, saint petersburg. what a rich, deep culture they have there_!_ i was almost envious of the natives who told me all about it.” now, a pile of red cotton pads sit upon the coffee table. it is a bit of a disgusting sight.

“the food… the art… the architecture… the people… the history- it is all magnificent. i can confidently say that it is one of the most beautiful places i have ever been to. the russian winter definitely lives up to its reputation. i’d love to take you there, one day.” seungwoo immediately flushes at the latter statement, retracting the hand that had slowly made its way to trace seungyoun’s knuckles.

“actually, seungyoun, there was something i’ve been meaning to tell you. it’s important, i dare say. it may take a while to explain, though. i would not be offended if you wanted to postpone this conversation for another date- you are a busy man, after all. i don’t want to prohibit you from attending to any of your other schedules.”

“oh no, you’re fine. i am always here for you.” seungyoun says, eyes lighting up when he hears his own name escape from seungwoo’s lips. even his ugly name sounds beautiful coming from seungwoo’s mouth.

“good.” seungwoo seems nervous, seungyoun observes. the man gets up from the couch and starts to pace around the room in front of seungyoun, hands clasped behind his back. seungyoun wishes he could wipe the worry off the other man’s face and instead plant kisses all over. seungyoun just wants to love seungwoo.

“well,” seungwoo looks as if he might start to cry. he takes a deep breath and quickly heaves it out. “i suppose there is no good way to say this, is there? i feel so incredibly horrible for wanting to tell you this at such a time, but i fear i may never tell you if i wait any longer. do you understand where this is going, seungyoun?” seungwoo doesn’t wait for a response and instead walks back to where seungyoun sits and grasps both of his hands.

“seungyoun, i-i… god, is it wrong to say- i love you. cho seungyoun, i’m so in love with you. words cannot describe how painful it was to spend so many days without your loving personality, your sweet words, and compassionate soul. i have always loved you and still continue to love you. i am so hopelessly in love with _you_, seungyoun. please forgive me.“

the statement comes at a shock to the seungyoun. had he heard correctly? for years seungyoun had been conflicted as to the true feelings of seungwoo. what a dream it was to hear that this man liked him back_!_

“_my love_-“ seungyoun cried out, standing up to enter the open embrace of the other. “how horrible it is for you to apologise for such lovely words… then is it wrong to say i love you back? i am also so hopelessly in love with you too, seungwoo.”

the two share a brief, passionate kiss before separating immediately after. where seungyoun lacks, seungwoo is there to fill the gaps. it is all beautiful.

time passes too quickly for seungyoun’s liking. momentarily, seungyoun forgets about the throbbing pain near his forehead and instead focuses solely on seungwoo, relishing in the small smile he flashes whenever seungyoun speaks up or the long, slender fingers that trace and highlight seungyoun’s jawline. but, the sensation comes back when his phone buzzes and seungyoun realises that auditions are only an hour away.

seungyoun gathers his things and gestures for seungwoo to follow him out of the apartment. “it looks like it is time for us both to leave. but promise me before you leave my arms, that you will meet with me again. there is still so much to talk about.”

seungwoo nods and the two form a promise. “of course, my dear. it is only inevitable that we should meet again. call me after your auditions, alright? i know you will do amazing.” seungwoo leans over to place a light kiss on seungyoun’s cheek from the other side of the door. “till we meet again_!_” the man calls out with a cheerful demeanor, already walking to the elevator to leave.

it is true then, seungyoun thinks. he has fallen in love.

**-**

the stage lights illuminate the stage with brilliance, casting the rest of the theatre into a deep, dark shadow. a couple of seungyoun’s fellow troupe members sit in the front row seats, impatiently waiting for their own turn to audition. though it is called an _audition_, the roles to the cast are subconsciously already set in place. this is just a matter of following custom and procedure.

seungyoun enters the auditorium just as the last ballerina finishes her routine, ending the scene with a painful rendition of odette’s death. though the dancers that watch politely clap after she is finished, it is evident that she will have no chance of getting a lead role. anyone could see that.

the troupe’s director, the creative director, and the company’s ceo sit at a table positioned a few feet away from the main stage. a few board members sit off to the side, watching the auditions under a piercing gaze while they take down notes on clipboards. as soon as seungyoun gets settled in the seat next to sungjoo, he hears the director call the next name.

“cho seungyoun, please get ready. you have five minutes to prepare and another fifteen minutes to showcase your repertoire.”

but seungyoun is already prepared, sparing no time to walk onto the stage. from the corner of his eye, seungyoun spots the encouraging glances of his peers and feels reinvigorated. this is _his_ time to shine. there is no reason to doubt that he will not be the lead.

the music starts and seungyoun finds himself dancing the steps to siegfried’s solo variation in act three, going right into the steps that are required. the music plays a cheerful tune and seungyoun is immediately seduced by the music’s sweet words. his movements are graceful, teasing, and still somehow somber in their own way. seungyoun is like a madman on stage. there is no one who can stop him.

when this segment is over, seungyoun takes the time to catch his breath and lower his pulse before gesturing to one of the female ballet dancers. a sweet, young girl approaches the stage timidly, finally approaching seungyoun when the judges in the front nod in approval. as the role of prince siegfried, the male dancer is required to possess a certain air that will not only make the female dancer shine, but also convey the feelings of love, betrayal, and anguish. the music starts again and seungyoun recognises this as the music that plays during siegfried and odette’s first meeting. the two dancers take their place and seungyoun transforms once more.

there is something different about this audition, however. seungyoun cannot stop thinking about the morning, how perfect everything seemed to be when seungwoo had finally proclaimed his love- his love for seungyoun_!_

these thoughts clog seungyoun’s mind and seungyoun becomes more passionate, immersing himself in the scene. in a way, he truly is the lonesome prince siegfried. the judges see this clearly, staring up at the stage in awe as the pair move in sync, not batting a single eyelid when they come so close that they almost kiss. but for seungyoun, he can only see seungwoo in the position of odette, promising to one another that they should love each other for eternity.

in the end, seungyoun performs with such intensity that the judges below the stage cannot help but join in the rest of the corps’ applause, clapping a few times before returning to their professional stance. seungyoun is satisfied with himself. turning back to spot the young girl walking down the stage, seungyoun catches up with her and takes her arm.

“good job there,” seungyoun flashes one of his business smiles. “what is your name, by the way? you’ll have to forgive me, i’m not good with names and i don’t talk to many people here.”

the girl copies his smile, making it more painfully evident that she had only volunteered out of her own interest. “mina. i’m from japan, so you’ll also have to excuse my korean. i look forward to working with you.”

seungyoun absentmindedly nods his head and watches the girl walk away. there is much to do and seungyoun is sure he’ll remember her name this time. he realises that they both share the same mindset, after all.

**-**

tonight feels different. is it the way that clouds do not clear, the way seungyoun’s fingers do not tremble, or the way he is able to make it to the bench without any trouble? seungyoun is afraid, but he is welcoming of the change. by now, he would be waking up in a cold sweat, clutching at his bedsheets in an attempt to rid of the horrifying monsters that clouded his dreams. perhaps the peace is a sign that his terrors have finally come to an end. perhaps.

seungyoun looks at the cloudy night sky. there is finally time to look up, as previously the man was more occupied with defending himself than star-gazing. the light breeze tousles seungyoun’s hair and he smiles. it feels serene. if it were not for the horrible memories that he has made here, seungyoun thinks that he would enjoy visiting once in a while.

a few moments pass and the clouds finally part, revealing the moon once more. this time when seungyoun looks up to observe the beautiful sight, he notices that a red string has been tied to the end of his pinky finger. when seungyoun follows the thread, his eyes travel towards the open air where the string disappears into the night sky. how peculiar, seungyoun thinks. it seems like a cliché- something his grandmother would tell him as he cried from the pain of how tight his feet were bound together. the red string of fate.

while admiring the sheen of the red string, it happens. the hum picks up and seungyoun turns around so suddenly that a sharp pain hits him in the stomach. seungyoun swears he must be bleeding_!_

there is no time to react as the swans have already begun to emerge from the depths, crowding together in flocks that await hungrily for seungyoun to double over and make himself vulnerable for them. yet, seungyoun does not feel weak this time. this is it- this is finally his chance for redemption. to escape the swans.

before the swans can get any closer, seungyoun gets up from the bench and positions himself to run the other way. this, he thinks, is the only way to escape them. he has never ventured farther into the darkness, only having come out from the depths each night. but, as seungyoun tries to run away, the red string of fate only holds him back. seungyoun looks up in horror at the string, violently tugging it in an effort to break the bond before the monsters can get any closer. this is no use, as the string does not break but stays resilient. god_!_ how could something like this happen to him?

seungyoun falls to the ground in anguish, clawing at his own face in despair. how foolish of him to think there was any chance of escape_!_ this was his fault and only his own. the stupid red string was the least of his worries, now.

so seungyoun waited for the swans to descend and feed upon his living body. but, time stood still and the swans did not come. instead, a single, black swan with a beautiful coat of velvet feathers approaches seungyoun. with a disgusting, hoarse voice, it directs its words to the man in front of it.

“you know why i am here,” it hisses through a hollow hole in its throat, walking close enough to seungyoun so that he can feel its breath on his neck. “you are a failure. why would seungwoo love you? you have nothing to offer him. why would he confess so suddenly? you are worthless to him- he is using you. he will never love you.”

hearing these words, seungyoun begins to scream. no_! _no, no, _no!_ seungwoo loved him- seungyoun had heard the words come out of the older man’s mouth himself. the swan was wrong, it had to be. there… there was no way the swan could be right. seungwoo loved him, right? _right_?

but these doubts had already been planted in seungyoun’s mind from the beginning of their meeting, when the two were only college students who had met by chance on a busy seoul street. seungyoun had been young, naïve, and had immediately fallen for the charms of the older, who seemed to want nothing to do with a sophomore like seungyoun. now, a bit older, seungyoun still worried. he had loved seungwoo for what felt like his entire life, but how long had seungwoo loved seungyoun? was there any rational thought behind his sudden confession- for all seungyoun knew, seungwoo might as well have been fooling him. no, no. everything was wrong. seungyoun could not doubt seungwoo, not when they had just declared their love for each other. everything just seemed wrong.

“you lie to yourself. you know i am right and you continue to lie to yourself because the comfort of your own deceit is more enticing than my harsh truths. face it, seungyoun. i am right. i have always been right.”

with an enraged mentality, seungyoun turns to face the swan. it’s hideous.

seungyoun spits on the swan’s face, laughing to himself when it recoils back in disgust. this is a mistake, he realises, when the hum turns into an ear-piercing screech. the black swan disappears into the horde once more and the rest of the blood-lustful swans lunge forward. seungyoun’s body cannot fight back, already tired from the mental stress he had just undergone. seungyoun lets himself lay limply on the ground as the swans begin to pick apart his skin piece by piece, choking and spitting out the chewed up pieces onto his face. blood splatters the pure white shirt he wears and seungyoun tries to block out the pain. it is useless. it only gets worse when he feels his eyes rip from their sockets and seungyoun knows he has had enough. it is time to wake up.

**-**

seungyoun idly messes with the food on his plate, having no appetite to finish the rest of the meal. it has been around a month since the auditions and the opening night for swan lake is approaching quickly. seungyoun’s life has since been overcome by rehearsals, leaving restless nights that only lead to nightmares once he finally manages to fall asleep. on this particular date, seungyoun’s eyes look bloodshot and seungwoo stares at him from across the table with concern, reaching across the table to take seungyoun’s hand in his.

“are you alright?” he murmurs reassuringly, rubbing his thumb across seungyoun’s open palm to let him know he’s there. seungyoun nods lazily, smiling to himself when he hears these words. there is something so calming about seungwoo’s voice- even his presence is enough to make seungyoun melt.

“i’m just tired, that’s all. practice starts at ten and ends at six, then i have to run errands so i don’t starve to death at home. after that i practice into the night and do whatever there is left to be done. doesn’t leave much time for me to sleep and even then, i have trouble in doing so.” seungyoun gives way to a sigh but still keeps the smile on his face. “i’m used to it, though. each season is like this.”

seungwoo closes his eyes in understanding, removing his hand so that he can receive the bill when a waiter comes over. “and how are your coworkers? i feel like a good relationship with those you will work closely with always makes the time pass by a little faster.”

observing the restaurant surroundings, seungyoun shrugs. “they’re fine. odette- mina, she’s a bright girl. she picks up things easily enough and is smart enough to put her youth to use. i can see her being prima ballerina in a few years’ time. sungjoo, on the other hand, is a pain as always. he treats me like a child… and he’s around your age too. funny, isn’t it?” seungyoun ponders for a moment before speaking again. “he took up the role of my understudy this year. i feel bad, he could have played the role of rothbart, a much more glorious role, but instead he chose this. i wonder if he thinks he’ll have the chance to be on stage this year.”

“i hope not, my dear. it would be horrible to see you out sick and miss your performance. i said i’d come to each one, did i not? though, it is a pity to say that i can only come and visit you after your performance on the opening night. i tried my best but my boss demanded i stay for a late meeting. you know how things are.”

when the waiter comes back with a receipt that seungwoo dutifully signs, the pair stand up and make their way towards the exit of the restaurant. they had arrived at the restaurant late into the night and now left as the buzz of the city began to die down and all that was left in the streets were the noises of disgruntled drunk men and taxis that had stopped on the side of the street to take a break. seungwoo approaches one of the drivers of said taxis and speaks in a low tone, gesturing for seungyoun to get in once the man stubs out his cigarette and tosses it to the ground.

the rest of the car ride is silent. seungyoun assumes they are headed towards seungwoo’s apartment, judging by the direction they are going. this doesn’t surprise seungyoun at all. it is bound to happen one of these days, after all.

when the car stops and they finally arrive, seungwoo drags seungyoun out of the car roughly, placing a hand on the small of his back. he is the same man, but there is something lustful in his eyes. something different. seungyoun is more than happy to comply when they finally make their way into seungwoo’s bedroom and is pushed onto the large king bed. seungwoo leans down to capture seungyoun’s lips and seungyoun’s hands find their way to grab a fistful of seungwoo’s hair. seungyoun cannot help but sigh in pleasure when seungwoo places a harsh kiss on his neck. this is love.

**-**

the moonlight casts a pretty sliver of light onto seungwoo’s closed eyes. seungyoun sits up in bed peacefully by his side, reading an article about the upcoming show from his phone. when he gets bored of the praise and criticisms, seungyoun turns his phone off and looks to the side at his lover. the night is long and there is nothing to hear except the shallow breathing of the man by his side. seungyoun reaches out to move a strand of hair from seungwoo’s cheek when he sees the tips of his fingers shiver in the moonlight. seungyoun stops what he’s doing. this is too uncanny, he thinks. he isn’t even asleep.

but the hum does not start up and seungyoun is safe for a while. when he places a hand over his heart to check his pulse, he finds it has almost doubled in speed. seungyoun is on edge now and god, not here.

seungyoun’s mind wanders while he tenses up, thinking of the words that the black swan had uttered to him only days before. there was no doubt in his mind that seungwoo loved him. the older man had expressed his desire and interest in every way known to man, this night being one of those times. yet, seungyoun had always doubted himself, wondering if it was even realistic to believe that such a person would ever come to love him. was he being delusional? were the swans right? it seemed plausible that seungwoo may have been using him… no, no. it wasn’t true. seungwoo loved seungyoun and seungyoun loved him back. there was no way, no way seungwoo could ever love him_!_

seungyoun takes a deep breath. maybe he should just try to sleep. shifting his gaze towards seungwoo once more, seungyoun moves the few strands of hair from the other man’s face. seungyoun waits for a second before also leaning down to plant a gentle kiss onto his forehead. with this, seungyoun closes his eyes and pretends to fall asleep.

**-**

the prince siegfried sits alone on a throne in the front of the stage, seemingly bored out of his wits. he finds his mother overbearing, her want for an heir greater than her consideration for her own son. the guests arrive one by one and begin to dance around the prince, while the prince remains solemn and uninterested.

the prince- seungyoun- perfectly embodies the ballet. seungyoun plays the role so perfectly that his fellow dancers cannot help but gape in awe. whatever siegfried is made to feel, seungyoun feels. though this may be considered unhealthy, seungyoun thinks of it as a skill. after all, not many people can do this. 

it is the final week of rehearsals for the ballet theatre. tickets to all shows for the first week have been sold out, receiving high publicity from local and national news sites and television shows. there are even billboards that surround seoul and subway ads that flash excessively in every corner of the system. it’s not a new feeling, the fame, but seungyoun still relishes in the spotlight. it is something he is almost used to by now, but this time something feels different. there is something off.

the orchestra in the pit that plays _allegro giusto_ begin to go from moderato to allegro, signifying the arrival of the evil sorcerer rothbart and his daughter, the tragic beauty odile. odile looks exactly like odette, only her feathers are black. the prince siegfried does not see this difference, however, and instead thinks that odile is his one true love. the two swans were traditionally played by the same ballerina. over the course of the few weeks of practice, seungyoun realised how much mina suited the role of the two swans. she was a fast learner, as he had noticed before.

when the music picks up pace, seungyoun prepares himself for the arrival of mina. she should have switched outfits, exchanging her white outfit for one of pure black. a triumphant blare comes from the pit and there stands mina in the center stage, taking on the role of odile. seungyoun looks her way, prepared to become entranced by her appearance for the thousandth time- but this time, something happens.

as soon as seungyoun catches sight of the black feathers that seem to resemble the real feathers of a swan so much, seungyoun’s ears are immediately clogged with the sound of that horrible, _horrible_ hum. seungyoun falls to the ground and throws his hands to his face to cover his ears. he has already learned by now that this never works, but the false security seems to make him less scared. nevertheless, screams escape his lips as he sees all the dancers drop their props and rush towards him. seungyoun writhes on the ground, pleading for some unknown force to make the noise stop.

“please_! _please just stop it,” seungyoun manages to get out through choked sobs. he cannot hear the words of his fellow troupe members when they reach out to help him and instead bats them away, seething. “get away_!_ please, it’s for your own sake. they’re only here for me… i know it.” out of the corner of his eye, he spots mina coming closer, her expression one of unmistakable pity and regret. in that instant, her figure transforms into the black swan he has seen so many times in his dreams and visions. seungyoun cannot take this anymore. with tense hands, seungyoun uses his hands to claw down his face. he pushes in hard enough that he can feel the blood beneath his fingernails when he does it numerous times. the entire theatre is shocked and the troupe members begin to intervene. it doesn’t matter. seungyoun has already done it. the swans cannot win now- for he has done their job for them.

thin red lines trail down seungyoun’s eyes to the bottom of his cheeks, resembling bloody tears as the blood begins to pool in small dots. the members finally restrain seungyoun and it is then that seungyoun finally passes out. it is about time he takes a break, anyways.

**-**

“have you ever been diagnosed with a panic disorder before, seungyoun?” the doctor sits next to his bedside, looking at a few papers that had been filed by the theatre company had filed beforehand in case anything of this sort happened.

seungyoun shakes his head. he has never been diagnosed- never really had the need to. seungyoun looks down at the bed, wondering what he’s even doing in it. there has to be more patients that need this more than me, he thinks.

“well, it’s likely you had a panic attack out there. i’m not sure where the sudden urge to hurt yourself came from, but i can refer you to a psychologist, if that may help? i’m not trained in that certain field, so i have no authorisation or credentials to help you with it. are you sure you’re alright?”

taking a moment to soak in the clean smell of the sanitised room, seungyoun shrugs. “i’m fine. when can i get back to work? i have to be back to practice around seven. do you perhaps know the time?”

“you’re fine, don’t worry. your director actually came in a few minutes ago and told me to tell you that you weren’t needed for the rest of the day. as long as you practice later by yourself at home, he said you would be fine.” the doctor scribbles something down on a notepad and tears a page off, leaving it next to seungyoun on a nearby table. “here’s a few psychologists in your area. we also offer the service here, but since you’re a busy man i’d assume you’d want something more convenient. feel free to call us at any time though, we’re here for you.” the doctor stands up and lightly pats seungyoun’s back. “you’ll have to stay here for a couple more hours, i’m afraid. but after we get the paperwork sorted out you can go home. someone is actually waiting for you in the hall, should i call them in?” seungyoun nods again.

a few moments later the doctor is replaced with seungwoo, who practically runs to seungyoun’s bed side and clasps his hands.

“seungyoun… i’m so sorry i wasn’t there for you. i feel horrible- i’m so sorry i could not have come sooner. the doctor said it was a panic attack. i’m so, so sorry.” seungwoo incessantly apologises for something he does not need to apologise for, so much that it makes seungyoun almost uncomfortable. the younger man shifts in his bed, placing a tender hand on top of seungwoo’s.

“i’m fine, my dear, really. perhaps my nerves were getting the best of me… perhaps.” a small sigh escapes from his lips. “i’m prepared for the show, though. there is nothing that can get in the way of the first performance. i must go through with it.”

“and i’m sure you will, seungyoun. you have always been so strong, so resilient. it is something i admire about you so much. one of my favourite qualities about you.” seungwoo smiles and presses a kiss onto the back of seungyoun’s hand. “i do hope those cuts on your face heal soon. it is a shame to see something so grotesque on such a beautiful person. you do not deserve this.”

seungyoun grimaces. can’t seungwoo just leave the room?

“thank you for the sweet words. i’ll see you soon, alright? i think the nurses just need to clear up a few things on my forms- but i will be out soon. can i meet you at your apartment later tonight?” seungyoun watches as seungwoo gets up, dusting off his business suit in turn.

“of course. i will see you then.” seungwoo takes the hint and leaves the room, quickly glancing behind before shutting the door tight.

the moment seungwoo walks through the door, seungyoun doubles over in pain. his abdomen burned with intense fury, making it almost impossible to do anything but groan in anguish. this was the feeling that would return to him each time he spotted those disgusting swans- why had it returned now? there had been no visions, no dreams that would lead up to this. but as soon as seungwoo had entered the hospital room, something clicked inside of seungyoun. and oh, how it burned_!_ seungyoun felt helpless against the pain. it was unbearable.

when the pain finally subsides, seungyoun removes his hands from his abdomen. though he always expects to see blood, there is none. instead, his fingers are clean and the old blood from his nails have been cleaned thoroughly by the hospital staff. one day, seungyoun knows. there will be blood.

**-**

tonight is the night. months of tears, sweat, and blood have all led up to this exact moment. bruises from the night before litter seungyoun’s collarbone, the deep red and purple a stark contrast from his pale white skin. this is expertly covered up by a few makeup artists who look at him with intrigued eyes but say nothing. the scars on his face have more or less faded by now, too light to be seen even from the front seats of the theatre. seungyoun sits in the back of the stage, waiting for the lights to dim and the chatter to stop. seungwoo is only miles away, still working his office job. seungyoun plans to see him tonight after the show, _yes_, for the final time.

a few staff members speak in low tones through their headsets before gesturing for seungyoun to come closer. the show is about to start and he is needed for one of the first scenes in the first act. though the ballet is technically about mina, he is one of the first main characters to appear. it is prince siegfried who drives the plot of the ballet, after all.

the first act starts. seungyoun keeps his eyes glued to the center of the stage, waiting for his to cue to come. he has memorised this routine by heart, dancing to it in his daydreams and even murmuring the certain moves while on dates with seungwoo. with a flick of the finger, seungyoun nods at the staff and heads onto stage, holding his head high and adopting the cheerful expression of the prince. the first scene opens with the prince and his friends partying without a care in the world- a strong contrast to the ending that is to follow.

seungyoun’s body is like a weapon. his moves are graceful, taking in each step with enough elegance that is enough to put any amateur ballerina to shame. when he leaps through the air and lets his eyelashes flutter downwards, the crowd gasps in awe and adoration. when he moans in pain or casts a disappointed look at his mother, the crowd follow suit and silently dislikes the actress playing her. this is seungyoun’s weapon. the crowd is under his command, with each and every step he takes only a small detail in his intricate plot to captivate them all. everything is meticulously calculated, from the way he looks at a person to the way he seems to float across the room or stomp his way to the very end of the stage. it’s all planned.

and so the first act ends without a hitch. though seungyoun would usually stop somewhere to get a drink of water, there is something in his mind that tells him he won’t need it. instead, seungyoun waits in the bathroom for a few seconds, trying to clear his thoughts. there is something wrong with him and he knows it. his mind swirls with endless possibilities and outcomes, distracting him from what is most important- getting this performance right. but, as much as he tries, there is still something that eats at him. seungyoun emerges from the bathroom and looks into his bag near the changing rooms. it is still there. all is well.

a staff member hurriedly finds seungyoun and rushes him back on stage. the lights have dimmed once more and the audience has ceased all talk, intently waiting for the curtains to open and a solemn forest scene to wash over them. seungyoun complies, heading onto stage with a bow in hand. this is his own solo scene, at least, until he meets odette.

mina glides across the top of the stage, still in her ‘swan’ form. it is all quite beautiful in essence, but seungyoun has no care for her beauty. he is attracted to only one man, after all. yet, the moment seungyoun sees mina, something goes terribly wrong. at first, the sound is only but a low buzz, an annoyance at most. yet over time as seungyoun tries to shake it off as a mere trick of the mind and nothing more, the sound gets louder and louder and it is finally unmistakable- it is the hum.

maybe mina can tell something is wrong because when he turns to grasp her hand, he holds on a bit too long and a red print fades slowly around her wrist. with a concerned glance, she takes this as only nerves and continues on with the performance. seungyoun, on the other hand, has begun to sweat profusely. this has never happened before, he wasn’t sure how to take it. of course, the only option was to carry on with the show. he could not show fear, no. not in a place like this.

seungyoun continues his routine, consistently turning to look behind him in case the swans have suddenly crept up behind him. thankfully, this is not the case. the sound, on the other hand, seems to have grown louder and louder until it has reached a fever pitch similar to previous nights before. seungyoun hates it. how dare they treat him like this_!_ this was all too cruel. he was a performer. a perfectionist. they would not, no- _could not_ bring him down like this. no, not like this…

the second act ends and him and mina exit the stage, relishing in the few moments of break that they have between the next two acts. when mina comes to his side and places a hand on his back, he pulls away suddenly and snarls.

“don’t mention anything,” seungyoun looks the girl up and down, looking for any sign of betrayal that may lie within her expression. “i need to finish this performance. i cannot stop midway. i’m fine.” he waves a hand in the air as if that will somehow convince her that he is still fit to perform. “you saw what i did out there. it was amazing. the crowd loved it. they loved _you_, anyways. i will be fine.” a slight scowl forms across seungyoun’s lips and sits there for a while. mina shrugs and folds her arms across her chest. she tries to tell seungyoun something but when he looks at her he cannot hear what she has to say. it is only the noise of the hum he hears.

thankfully, the staff cues him on stage again and seungyoun finds his place easily. though he cannot hear the music, he has memorised the positions of his fellow dancers and instinctively knows his way through the routine. this is act three, where siegfried meets odile for the first time. though a strange taste lingers on the tip of his tongue, seungyoun continues with the ballet, grimacing each time he must chase after odile as she dons her black feathers. for the first time in his life, seungyoun begins to question what he is doing. how shameful it was to portray a character so utterly stupid_!_ how could a man of such high caliber and intelligence not be able to tell the difference between his true love and a woman who merely looked like her?

while seungyoun’s hands rest on mina’s waist and the stage lights burn into his eyes, seungyoun thinks of seungwoo. how nice it would be to see him again outside the theatre. they had agreed nights before to meet as soon as the show was done. seungyoun estimates that it would not take long to meet seungwoo and bring him through the back entrance, just in time to make it to the curtain call. after that, the two would go home together and the rest would be history. yes, all seungyoun had to do was make it through the final act. then, everything would be okay.

but what if seungwoo did not show up? the possibility was there, as was every single possibility in the world. seungyoun had no disgrace in admitting that he was weary even now of seungwoo’s so-called love, finding it hard to believe that such a person would ever truly love a corrupt person such as himself. in the end, did seungwoo really love him? it was all quite sickening, really. if seungwoo were to be deceiving seungyoun this entire time, then he had might as well kill the man_!_ there would be no argument there. seungyoun’s whole life revolves around seungwoo. it would be a shame if the man were to no longer love him.

the third act ends and the actors go straight into act four after a quick water break. once again, seungyoun declines the offers of water that staff and fellow dancers give him. though he cannot hear their pleas, he only shakes his head politely and pushes them away. he does not need it. not on a night like this.

the fourth act requires great mental strength. the two star-crossed lovers at the end of this act die and every actor who finds themselves in such a role tends to portray it a bit unrealistically. seungyoun has grown rather used to the hum by now, his thoughts consisting solely on what he should do after the ballet is over. would he ask seungwoo to come back to his place, or would he inquire that they go out in celebration of the opening night? there was still much to talk about. though they had been on numerous dates, seungyoun had still yet to hear more about saint petersburg. seungyoun was dying to hear more.

and at last_!_ the time had come for siegfried and odette to leap into the lake and welcome the sweet embrace of death itself. everything had led up to this one moment, had it not? the whole time, seungyoun had only thought of this one moment. it felt almost like a dream. finally, the ballet would be over and seungyoun could return to his loved one’s arms. grasping mina’s hand, they both turned their backs to the audience. it was time to end it all.

**-**

seungwoo has missed the city. he realises this when he gets out of his car with a bouquet in his hands and looks upon seoul from the hilltop in which the ballet theatre lies. though he is a few minutes early, he spends the time to look out over the hill and onto the busy streets below where he is sure people still mull around, greeting their neighbours absent-mindedly in the middle of the night. seungwoo cannot help but chuckle to himself over these thoughts. he has come with the sole intent of congratulating seungyoun, yet here he is, standing on top of a hill like a fool, waiting for something (if there is anything) to happen. shrugging to himself, seungwoo heads down the hill and instead makes his way over to the entrance of the theatre. while there is an intense glow that comes from the inside, the surrounding area outside the building is practically pitch black. it is hard to make out even a single lamp post.

then, seungwoo sees him. at last_!_ seungyoun approaches seungwoo, staggering on one leg in order to make his way into seungwoo’s arms. seungwoo can only see the faint outline of his body, overshadowed by the light that comes from the theatre. there is something different about tonight. maybe it is the cold air? seungwoo cannot tell.

nevertheless, seungwoo opens his arms when seungyoun draws near and holds him in his grasp. suddenly, seungwoo feels his breath hitch and he can no longer breathe normally. seungyoun’s head is faced down and he cannot look at seungwoo. he won’t.

when seungwoo looks to where seungyoun’s gaze is directed, he isn’t shocked to see a long metal handle sticking out of his lower abdomen. how it burns_!_ the pain swells and seungwoo feels it spread through his body and eventually give way to his legs. my god, blood is everywhere. what can he do?

“seungyoun, i-“ seungwoo sputters, grasping out to take hold of seungyoun’s hands but misses greatly, his balance debilitated to nothing. seungyoun says nothing, only reaching into his bag to pull out another knife. then, seungyoun thrusts the weapon right into where he has just stabbed seungwoo. seungwoo swears he can see a weak smile spread across his lips.

“we can be together forever now, can’t we? isn’t this what we both wanted in the end?” seungyoun groans, managing to get the words out after a few heavy heaves of air as blood spills from his abdomen. it is then seungyoun realises how much of a fool he is. how much he has wasted, devoting his life to such a stupid cause.

“go. leave me. you obviously don’t care for me, anyways_!_” seungyoun cannot wait for seungwoo to reply and instead motions for him to leave. “go get yourself help, please_!_ don’t die with me.” the younger man sobs, so used to this pain that he is almost immune to the sensation now. looking on in disgust, seungwoo nods and limps into the theatre, a hand over his gushing wound that has begun to clot around the metal knife. seungyoun breaks into an uncharacteristically large grin. thank god.

when seungyoun looks up, balancing between life and death, a hoard of swans surround him. the world has somehow brightened up, with the sun reflecting off the birds’ black feathers. seungyoun mutters some incoherent curse word and realises that his time is up. taking the hand away from his stomach, seungyoun looks at it. this time, there is blood, and it as red as the wine he had tasted on seungwoo’s lips the night before. it is as red as the first time he pricked his finger on the roses outside his family home. it is as red as the moon is, right now.

slowly but surely, the black swan makes its way closer to seungyoun. there it stands over his dying body and laughs triumphantly. they have won and seungyoun has lost.

“what did i tell you?” it hisses from the hole in its neck, eyes narrowing when seungyoun mumbles another curse at it. “that man has never loved you. only we love you, seungyoun. we only look out for you and that is all.” the black swan turns around and retreats within the mob. seungyoun has looked death in the face and is now ready for whatever may come next.

the swans descend upon him. seungyoun will never be used to the feeling of getting his flesh torn away from him, his eyes plucked out by the ravaged beaks of those horrid swans. seungyoun will never be used to it but feels as if it is his obligation to bear the pain. if not him, than who?

and just like that, seungyoun accepts his fate wholeheartedly. there is nothing else to do.

**-**

seungwoo returns with a clean and bandaged wound, along with a few members of the cast and paramedics. though it is hard to see in the darkness of the night, the paramedics shine light over the entrance of the theatre. it is then that they spot seungyoun’s lifeless body in the middle of the pavement, sprawled across the ground.

when the group moves closer, nothing can prepare them for what they see next. seungyoun’s whole body is ravaged with fresh cuts and scars, supposedly caused by seungyoun himself. blood pools around the ground underneath his stomach and that’s when seungwoo spots it. the crowd cannot help but gasp in horror.

on the ground, spelled out clearly with seungyoun’s own blood, bares the two words: **BLACK SWAN**.

**Author's Note:**

> SWAN LAKE IN 9 STEPS  
1\. theres a prince name siegfried  
2\. his mom wants him to marry but he's like hah no i wanna have true love  
3\. while hunting he meets this pretty girl named odette who turns into a swan with her friends at midnight bcus this evil guy named rothbart cursed them  
4\. they fall in love and pledge to each other bcus odette can become human if she is loved by someone who only loves her  
5\. siegfried goes to a party where a bunch of princesses are  
6\. rothbart comes with his daughter, odile, who looks exactly like odette but she is a black swan  
7\. siegfried wants to marry odile bcus he thinks she is odette  
8\. odette is betrayed and so is siegfried (at himself)  
9\. they both jump into a lake and die because they wanna be together the end
> 
> thank you so much for reading! tbh i thought of this plot two weeks ago? it was supposed to be based on the black swan theory and also the saying that when a swan dies, it sings. tell me what you think in the comments <3 thanks so much!


End file.
